Now Over To the Experts…#3

Reviews from top critics can make or break a film or TV show. I have scoured the web to find the most influential, accurate and informative (and then I’ve reviewed these reviews, obviously).

This week, reviews from LoveFilm customers (again) on Chungking Express. This homage to Western cinema is one of Director Wong Kar Wai’s seminal works, and, personally, one of my favourite films.

But what do the experts think?

 Chungking Express

Don’t bother watching this film – you will be disappointed

Rated - 0.5 stars

By a customer      

What a waste of time! The subtitles were few and far between so it was a matter of guesswork as to what was happening! That really coloured the whole thing for me cos’ if you don’t know what’s going on then there really is very little room for enjoyment. I won’t bother giving this a rating as it certainly doesn’t deserve one!

 Although, I see you have given it a rating.

 

waste of time

Rated - 0.0 stars

By a customer from Ambleside

This is the first review I have been moved to write, wow what a waste of time, spent the whole time waiting for something to happen. So what if it looks good (it dosent’t) its pure dross.

This customer is so disappointed they’ve spiralled into arguing with themselves.

 Chungking Express

Funny

Rated - 3.0 stars

By Chantal from London

A very different movie from your usual Hong Kong martial arts predictable plot.

Is Chungking Express a martial arts film?

 

California Dreaming, sigh

Rated - 3.0 stars

By MarkBarton  from Bristol

Not really my knid of genre – more of a romantic film HORRENDOUS overuse of ‘California Dreaming’ tune – if thats what its called

A complete assumption from MarkBarton here which somehow pays off. God knows how he (almost) worked the title out. Genius.

 

Tinned pineapple

Rated - 5.0 stars

By a customer from Sydenham, London

If I ate that much pineapple I’d throw up as well. California dreaming . . .

I’ve got nothing.

 

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About thenumbereightytwo

I am an avid film enthusiast with a passion for creative writing. My favourite things in life are writing about; film, popular culture and current affairs; watching films and looking at penguins. One day I hope to be getting paid more than I deserve for doing all of these professionally (not the penguin part - that will still be a hobby). View all posts by thenumbereightytwo

3 responses to “Now Over To the Experts…#3

  • thenumbereightytwo

    But atleast you can spell Dax. And thank you fernandorafael. Glad you’re enjoying them.

  • DaxxCalrissian

    To me, there is no “experts” for whomever critiques movies as a profession. There is no way to set standards for an art form…cause that’s what movie making is. Like painting, drawing, photography, and many other styles of creative expression…it’s subjective, it’s your own, it’s something you made and others can not like it or like it…but that’s it. What they say does mean ‘fact’…it is solely their opinion based on what they think quality movies are. That’s why I don’t understand the professional ‘critics’…a lot of people don’t agree with them anyway. What they say a bad movie is…usually most people like and vice versa. Being a “professional movie critic” is the last thing someone wants to be who can write usually. They are well versed in the english language but their personal writings were crapped on so they became bitter and just shat on everything else (see the movie ‘Heckler’). I don’t get AFI saying that Citizen Kane is the best movie ever made…well, how so? Who says? How many people voted out of the billions upon billions of people who exist today? What makes you correct? What is the list of correct things Orson Welles did that makes it so perfect? I think it’s boring. But that’s me, and that’s it. Does that make it true? No. Does it make it false? No. My opinion is what it is but it does not make me a movie expert.

  • fernandorafael

    These reviews are hilarious!

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