Tag Archives: Breaking Bad

Review: Hydra

HydraHydra is the second of many ‘for TV’ films I plan to slowly burn my eyeballs out of my head with. Why? Because the sub-genre it belongs to – low-budget, bland monster story drivel (usually set on a fictional island) which contains about an hour and a half of laughable acting and shamefully rendered special effects – is surprisingly entertaining. For all the wrong reasons of course.

Hydra does us the favour of finally quenching our incredible thirst for a three-headed snake monster. The snake monster is on an island, as are some silly human beings. Most of them get eaten by one or all of the previously mentioned snake heads. That is as much as I can remember as I watched it all of three days ago. Which, consequently, is fine by me.

Michael Shamus Wiles, (pictured) who you will most likely recognise as the creepy bartender in Fight Club and ASAC George Merkert in Breaking Bad, seems to have misplaced any talent he once possessed with his character – the brilliantly named, Captain Sweet. He is by far the best thing about this film (again, for all of the wrong reasons). I’m not sure whether his painfully slow movements and turtle-mouthed dialogue are strokes of genius, or, just awful, awful acting. You decide…

19/82


The Walking Dead and Mid-Season Finales

What’s the deal with all of these mid-season finales? Breaking Bad has done it recently and now The Walking Dead is in on the act. With blockbuster films also unnecessarily spreading stories over multiple instalments (The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is the most recent and extreme culprit), it’s not going to be too long before we regularly start paying £9 to visit the cinema for half or even a third of a film.TWDS3CCCastPhoto--2168281998806264383

I may not be as tuned-in and informed as some regarding the best of current TV, but I had absolutely no idea The Walking Dead even had a mid-season finale until the last episode ended and that really serious voiceover guy informed me it will not return until February 2013.

Maybe the likes of AMC are just kindly preparing me for the times to come? I’m now half expecting to sit down to watch The Walking Dead restart in February and get 20 minutes into Andrew Lincoln’s scruffy faced Rick in another against- all-odds fight, before a fade to black is met with an unapologetic message of “return next week to see the next 20 minutes of this episode.”

Many of the series’ coming out at the moment are of a very high calibre, but it’s no excuse to string us along frustratingly with half seasons. They may as well just go one step further and not even tell us when the next instalment is going to be?

Before we know it a seaOB-VJ991_walkin_G_20121118172622son will suddenly stop three episodes in with absolutely no warning issued whatsoever, and the growls of voiceover guy will instruct us to return sometime next week to find out what happens. They probably won’t even tell us when or where to go. Just a message like, “To find out if Merle and Daryl do have a three hour fight to the death armed only with zombie bollock nun-chucks, return next week where you can call our very busy hotline, where you will pay us for a £20 access code, to watch 10 minutes of the this scene, maybe.”

I’ve already half convinced myself not to watch The Hobbit because of its blatant greed, and it won’t be long before I do the same with TV if it keeps going this way.

I suppose the alternative is to wait in a dark cave for a few years, then return to civilisation and stab myself in the ears so I don’t find out any endings, and watch any decent show that has finally reached its conclusion with the subtitles on. A bit extreme I know, but I really don’t mind subtitles.